Monty & Me‘s ghost writer, author Louisa Bennet, spent the day at Harper Collins Australia’s offices in Sydney on Friday, and she’s pictured here with Shona Martyn, the Publishing Director. I can tell from the photo that Shona is a very friendly person (look at that smile!) and very groovy indeed. For some strange reason I wasn’t invited to the event and spent the day at home (hurrumph!). Admittedly, I had a juicy pig’s ear to chew, and my mate, Lilly the loon, to rumble with. So I wasn’t exactly suffering. However, when Louisa comes home, late, smelling of, dare I say, wine (yuck! Tried wine and have no idea why she drinks it) chicken wraps, smoked salmon bagels, strawberry tarts and, wait for it, CHEESY mini muffins, I decided I would write to the lovely lady in the photo and ask if , as the actual mastermind of the book, I  can come to next year’s fabulous smorgasbord of yumminess. Oh, I meant to say authors’ day. Here is my wee-mail to Shona:

Dear Shona

My name’s Monty and I’m a dog. You’ll know me as the star of Monty & Me, but I’m also the author. You see Louisa is actually the ghost writer, and she’s fantastic at it. More importantly, she can use the keyboard better than me and she’s less distracted by a passing possum or a discarded burger in the gutter.

Anyway, I’m writing to you because I would very much like to attend next year’s Harper Collins authors’ day. Naturally I’m fascinated by the speeches and the chance to meet people, but I have to be honest and say I’d just as happily skip all that and stay close to the food. Leave me with the sandwiches and I promise I will be as good as gold. Truly!

I’d also like to offer my services as a speaker next year. I believe Harper Collins and indeed every book publisher is missing out on a huge, untapped book-buying market – dogs! Hounds left alone all day while their masters are at work have to find something to do. We don’t just spend the day sleeping or gnawing an ancient bones. We read, watch TV, use social media. You know all those dogs on Facebook and Twitter (like me) and you thought it was the owners doing the posting? Not so. The dogs are doing it. Anyway, we love to read, especially any story that includes a dog character.

There is nothing sadder than a dog, deprived of books from an early age, unable to read. Did you know that a study in the USA reveals that dog illiteracy is a big problem and 90% can’t even howl their alphabet. Please take a moment to take a look at this infographic showing the harsh realities of this situation, courtesy of TheAnimalRescueSite.com. Harper Collins Australia could be the champion of dog literacy AND Top Dog when it comes to dog books.  Think of the sales!

While we don’t actually go into bookshops and select reading material, we most certainly order incognito Online, and we try to encourage our owners’ dog-related book-buying habits with a nudge and an approving bark, and the occasional negative howl if it looks as if a cat book is about to be purchased. It’s the canine equivalent of kids’ pester power.

So, that’s my wee-mail. I wonder Shona will reply? Wooferoo!

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